All I See Is Starlight
by TheJondretteGirls
Summary: Éponine dies that day on the barricade. But she'll never leave her M'seiur Marius, even if tears her apart...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hola! This is TheJondretteGirls' first fanfic, and it's me! EPPY LIZ! Reese is having a bath at the moment so she's not writing fanfiction. It's a shame. **

**Anywhoo, I published this on BBC Bitesize and I got positive reviewYay yay! But that was with a bunch of other KS3 people. Around the same age as me. OH WELL! Constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames please BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF FIRE. :O **

**Well, here ya go! Will be updated at some point. THERE IS MORE I PROMISE!**

I feel his breath against my hand. The pain is... not there anymore. He whispers in my ear,

"'But you will live 'Ponine - dear God above!"

I want to believe him. I want to believe him so, so hard. I can feel the blood - I reach up to touch his face. I want him to smile. Poor M'seiur Marius! If only he had noticed. The whisper on the wind in the dead of the night.

"Don't you fret, M'seiur Marius, I don't feel any pain."

But I do. My heart aches as I think of his girl. I've seen him sleeping. He talks about her. I like sitting next to him when he sleeps. It makes me feel peaceful. And I can pretend I don't hear the gunshot. I can pretend I can't hear the screams. I'll watch his breathing. Up and down. Up and down. I try and do the same now. It's hard. My breathing is shaky.

"You will keep me close."

He pulls me to his chest. I've got his shirt all messy. It's covered in blood. I want to cry, but I know it won't be long - and what's the use in wasting tears?

"And rain.."

"And rain.."

"Will make the flowers..."

"Will make the flowers..."

I want to say the last word. I don't like to leave things unfinished. I open my mouth, to utter the last word, to make it final...

It hurts. It hurts so much. I try to breath. I try to scream. Neither are working. i nuzzle my head into M'seiur Marius' chest.

This rain will make the flowers grow.

******

I open my eyes. He's... gone. He not sitting where he was...

"M'seiur Marius!" I call.

There is no reply. I pull myself up, steadily. The pain is gone. It doesn't hurt anymore. I close my eyes really tight, hoping that when I open them again he'll be there. Gradually, I open one eye. He's not there. A single tear runs down my cheek. He's gone. He's really and truly left me for his girl.

I begin to walk away. I don't want to look back. If he's left me, then... Then that's fine. So be it. I will get by.

"Her name was Éponine. Her life was cold and dark, but she was unafraid..."

M'seiur Marius! He hasn't left! He stayed with me! I turn around. I want to see his face so much it hurts. And I see him. My M'seiur Marius. He is... crying. Why is he crying? I am here. Alive and real! I walk over and touch his face.

"Why are you crying?"

He doesn't answer. He doesn't even acknowledge me. My M'seiur Marius has abandoned me. He doesn't care anymore. And the tears come again. They stream down my face. I am right in front of him, but yet he doesn't care.

I begin to walk away. I don't belong on the barricade anymore. And it is only when I begin to climb the barricade, hoping against hope that I will not be seen that I see a girl in M'seiur Enjolras' arms. And I don't think to care, to think, to wonder until I see the girl is... me...

That is not me. I am here. I am now. I am one person and one being. I jump down from my place on the barricade and graze my arm. It…doesn't hurt. Why doesn't it hurt? Why can't I feel the pain? I look at my arm. There is nothing. No blood. No trace of anything. Am I making too much of it? I shake my head and try not to think about it - my main aim now is to find out about the girl.

"M'seiur Enjolras!" I call. He does not answer. I think nothing of it. If M'seiur Marius would not answer why would the marble man? I run towards him and look at the girl lying limp in his arms. She wears my clothes. She wears my expression. She wears ME. I am her and she is me. We are one and the same. How can this be? And then I remember. The bullet. The song. The blood. Could it be? Am I...dead?

"Life without Cosette means nothing at all..."

Cosette? Who's Cos- Oh. M'seiur Marius' girl. The girl who was supposed to be a servant . The girl who just wouldn't stay out of my life. Out of my love. And even though I'm gone, that's still all he'll ever talk about. I wait for him to mention me. To shed another tear for me. The words don't come. The tears aren't shed. Oh! M'seiur Marius! Have you forgotten me already?

Courfeyrac's cry of, "Gavroche! Come back!" brings me back to my senses.

Gavroche? No... not my brother. Please God, not my brother! He never did any wrong. You took Marius away from me, he's got his girl and he doesn't want me. And maybe... Maybe that's OK. But please, please not my brother...

**Peace out, VIVE LA FRANCE and all that. Eppy Liz xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Because I have had two reviews (YAYYAYAYAYAYAY!) I have updated again! Eponine Jondrette and Illa Darling - I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

I cover my eyes. If I can't see it it can't be real. That's what I tell myself. If I don't see it it doesn't happen. But I don't cover my ears. I hear the gunshots. I hear the screams - a young and an old. And I heard with my own ears - so it must have happened.

"Gavroche!" I call.

"'Ponine?"

He heard me. He heard me... Why did he hear me?

"'Ponine," he says, "it hurts."

I nod my head. It hurts. He hurts. And I hurt inside.

"It-it won't be long." I whimper, trying not to break down. He lets out a small smile. And then, and then... He closes his eyes. I let out a shriek, but there's nobody to hear it. Nobody to comfort me, to tell me everything will be fine. Because it won't. Nothing ever goes right. In life or death.

Suddenly, something happens. If I were to blink I would miss it. A small, silvery light escapes from the small boys's chest. I try to reach out, to grasp it, and I hear a light chuckle and the words...

"You don't have to wait for him, Éponine."

"Gavroche..." I whisper. But there is no sound.

His gallant soul has fled.

"Let us die facing our foes! Make them bleed while we can!"  
"Make them pay through the nose!"  
"Make them pay for every man!"  
"Let others rise! To take our place until... The earth is free!"

I wish I could have helped. They all lie dead at my feet. Like Gavroche, none of them stayed for long. Now M'seiur Enjolras is about to be executed. My breath catches in my throat. This is the end. The revolution, the thin we had all been waiting for, we had built up to it over a number of months... It has been reduced to a dwindling flame.

"Vive la republique! I'm one of them!"

I gasp. M'seiur Grantaire staggers his way over to M'seiur Enjolras' side.

"Vive la republique!" he repeats.

I try to close my eyes again. To try and pretend, again, that if I don't see it it's not real. But I never learn. I don't cover my ears. I hear the gunshots. There are no screams - only silence. I open my eyes. I'm so SICK of pretending everything will be fine. All my life, I've only been pretending - it's time to face up to the wreckage that is me.

Gingerly, I creep over to M'seiur Grantaire, slumped by the wall. Is he already gone? I shake him. Back and forth. Back and forth. A rhythm. I like rhythms. They don't change. Proper ones don't, anyway.

"M'seiur Grantaire?" I say, "M'seiur Grantaire?"

"Mam'selle Éponine?"

I start. Slowly, I turn my head.

"M'seiur Enjolras?"

"Mam'selle Éponine - what are you doing?"

I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing. Have I ever known? Watching M'seiur Marius, perhaps. In my mind's eye, I see him now. I close my eyes and remember his kiss. Right in the middle of my forehead.

"Mam'selle Éponine! Answer me!" I am snapped out if my thoughts by M'seiur Enjolras' harsh voice.

"Please don't call me Mademoiselle. It's just Éponine, M'seiur. And I could ask the same of you. What are YOU doing?"

"I don't know."

"Did you expect me to?"

"Perhaps."

"M'seiur, all I know is that I am dead, and I am on my own. Ev'ryone else... they left."

"Well, why ever don't you?"

"I can't. Why don't you?"

"I don't know how."

"You expected me to know?"

"Perhaps."

I turn to walk away. I have no place with the bourgeoise boy. He is no concern of mine. Everyone is gone now. I don't know why I stayed at the barricade. Perhaps it was to see it finished. I don't like leaving things unfinished. But there's no reason for me to stay now. With a lighter heart, hoping to see my M'seiur Marius soon, I climb over the remains of the barricade, leaving M'seiur Enjolras behind me.

**Reviews make me update quicker! Eppy Liz xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for not updating! This chapter is far from great... BUT I HAD WRITERS BLOCK, OK? Sorry it's so short.**

I arrive at M'seiur Gillenormand's house after about a day. I would have arrived earlier, has I not checked both M'seiur Marius' house and Mademoiselle Cosette's. I am filled with a surge of joy when I discover that Marius is not to be found at Cosette's, but the joy soon disappears after I realise that Cosette is not to be found there either. So he has gone with her.

Marius has indeed gone with Cosette. I find them, sitting at a table, gazing into each other's eyes with such _happiness._

They are in love. So much, in fact, that they are discussing their wedding, which will be..._tomorrow._Was it REALLY a day ago I left the barricade? Or has more time passed then I realise?

I watch Marius as he sleeps that night. Just like I used to. He is not asleep though. He is awake, not from fear, from happiness - there is a light in his eyes that seems to brighten the room. I sit on the floor and stare back at him.

"'Ponine?"

M'seiur Marius - he sees me?

"'Ponine, if only you could see me now. Cosette would have wanted you to be bridesmaid, I know she would, and you would have sat on the bench at the front - right at the end because I know you don't like being crowded by too many people - perhaps next to Azelma, for Cosette knows not who else would be bridesmaid! And Courfeyrac would have been best man, and Gavroche the ring-bearer... Oh! If only you were still here!"

But I am here. I run up and embrace him - and even if he doesn't feel it, I do, with all my heart.

The next day comes, and the house is a madhouse. Cosette does look truly beautiful. I scavenge in her wardrobe for a dress, because even if Marius will not see me, I want to look my best. In the end I settle for a light blue flowing dress, with sleeves that hang down to the floor. I do hope Cosette won't mind.

I watch as Marius gets into his wedding apparel. Handsome as ever. I stifle a laugh. His words from last night ring in my ears.

_If only you could see me now._

His brow furrows as he looks in the mirror.

"How- What- Why- 'Ponine, what are you doing in my mirror?" He says, much to himself as anyone else.

"Marius?" I whisper, daring myself to believe it...

"You look beautiful." He smiles. I smile back at him.

"Where have you been 'Ponine?" he asks.

"Always here. I never left you, not really."

"You died 'Ponine."

I nod solemnly.

"You're - dead?"

I say nothing.

"'Ponine, you will sit exactly where I said you would - the bench right at the front, right at the end. You are here - aren't you 'Ponine?"

"I don't know Marius," I say, reaching to touch his face,"I know I died that day. No one else has acknowledged me so far. Only you. I don't know how long you will see me for Marius. I just - I don't know."

And then I break down. I sob into his shoulder, and he rests his head on mine.

"I love you Marius." I say.

"You'll always be my little sister 'Ponine. Always have been, even if you didn't realise it."

He loves me. He loves me like a sister... But he loves me...


	4. Chapter 4

**So! Hellooooooooo! I get to write the wedding! A-yay-a-yay-a-yay! There is swearing in this, but I'm not gonna move the rating up because it's...French swearing. BTW this is movie/musical based. Oh yeah, I have a list of people I need to say stuff to...**

**RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow: *sobs* I am very good at making MYSELF cry. It's like, I'm telling this story to my friends, and I start choking up, and they're like..."Ummm... Should we help her?"  
**_Except we don't. We definitely don't help you. Hey! This is Eppy Liz's mad friend Mina who is helping on the story because Eppy Liz has writers block and a bajillion pieces of homework. So most of this chapter is_ me.  
**MOVE CRAZY LADY! My story!** **MOVE!**  
_Our teacher will destroy you if you don't do that Physics_ _homework._  
**Meh. I don't care. I'M GONNA WRITE THIS** **CHAPTER!**  
_Well I'm helping in case you break down in floods of tears again.  
_**FINE.**

**Eponine Jondrette: I mean to spell Monseiur as M'seiur. Éponine pronounces it like that - non?**

**Psycho: Even though you're also RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow, you're a different REVIEW so yah. Thanks for saying it's awesome! YAY!  
**_She had a whole stick of rock today. Not the mini ones either. The great freakin' massive ones.  
_**But then I ran 6km, so we're fine.**

**Starr Kiwi: OK, here is an UPDATE!**

**Illa Darling: **_Mina here. Yes it is contagious. AND EXTREMELY ANNOYING!_

**ON WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

I grip Marius' arm with the hold of a dead man. I lean into his shoulder, and only let go when he leans into kiss Cosette after their final vows. I never leave his side, even when he's dancing, I hold my arms above my head and spin around with him. It makes me giggle slightly, and even Marius stifles a laugh when he sees me. He leaves Cosette to engage with some of the guests, and pulls me off to the side.  
"OK, 'Ponine," he says, "tell me everything."  
"There's not really not much to say, M'seiur."  
"Then tell me all there is."  
So I do. I tell him all I can remember, seeing Gavroche die, meeting M'seiur Enjolras at the barricade, and spending days looking for Marius. He takes my head in his hands.  
"You 'Ponine,"he smiles, "are a miracle." I laugh, because the other option is to cry, and I'm so sick of crying. It does no good. It hurts inside.  
"Go and enjoy yourself," he says, taking my hand in his, "You deserve it."  
I let out a small smile, blow him a kiss and set off to explore.

The church is a grand array of portraits, stained-glass windows and statues. I'm taken aback by the grandness of it all, and my head starts to spin with new ideas and new prospects.  
"If I had lived long enough to get married," I say to myself, "I would have it in a church such as this. There would be singing and dancing, and crying at all would not be allowed. Unless, of course, from happiness. That would be perfectly allowed, because, of course, weddings are happy days, are they not? Unless the love is-"  
I am cut off from my ramblings by the sight of my father weaving through the crowd towards Marius. Oh God, please no. Please. I shake my head. What use is it praying to God? What's the use in praying if there's nobody who hears?  
"It was the night the barricades fell..." I see Marius' hand fly to his mouth.  
"Cosette!" he cries, "Come!" Cosette rushes towards him, her wedding dress billowing out behind her.  
"Pray, Marius my love, what is it?"  
"Your father is my saviour! We must go to him at once!" He takes Cosette's hand and rushes with her towards the door.  
"Marius!" I shout, "Marius, wait for me." He does not look back. he leaves without so much as a second glance.

I will not be shunned again. I will not be made to wait in the shadows once more, hoping against hope that someone will care to notice me. I am stronger now. I turn towards the door and rush after Marius and Cosette.

I slink after them in the darkness, afraid Marius does not want to see me anymore. I hide behind house and jump down alleyways, careful not to be seen. Marius walks with Cosette into a convent and I rush to the window and look inside. My hand flies to my mouth. Marius is crying. Did he cry like that for me? Did the tears run down his face, did he look at me in the way he looks at Cosette now? Did he take me in his arms like he does? I bang on the door, but it won't open.  
"Open the door." I whisper, "Open the door."

The door, unsurprisingly, does not open.  
"_Merde!" _I cry. Why will this stupid door not open? Why does everything always happen to me? Why can't something just go right for once? I lean my body against the door and pound it with my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a window open, ever so slightly. Maybe... Just maybe...

I pull my hands up to the window and swing my legs around the side. So, so close. Just one more ledge and I'll have it...  
"Ah!" I scream, as I fall to the floor. And then I grin. because I have _finally _made it inside.

"_Take my hand, and lead me to salvation..."_

The voice echoes around my head. I smile and look at Marius, reaching out for his hand.

_"Take my love for love is everlasting..." _

I kiss his forehead, but he makes no sound. Can he really no longer see me? Am I all but gone to him now?

_"And remember, the truth that once was spoken..."_

I open my mouth to try and talk to him. And that is when I realise. He is not my M'seiur Marius anymore. He is Cosette's and I should let it be. He is happy. And if he is happy...so am I.

_"To love another person is to see the face of God..."_

Silver stars engulf my body... and I finally let go.

* * *

**So? Whatdidjathink?!**

_Go Lizbeth. Go upstairs and don't come down._

**I go by Eppy Liz here.**

_What!? You would skin me alive if I called you by your first name!_

**These people get special treatment.**

_I feel loved._

**ONE CHAPTER MOOOOOOOOOOOORE (to go)**

_**PEACE OUT! **_**From Eppy Liz **_(seriously, how come you make me call you Lizbeth, but these people get to call you Eppy L_i_z? When that supply teacher came in and called you Éponine, you went on this massive rant - _**NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THAT! **_Another time, perhaps. _**NO! NEVER! **_I'm gonna start calling you Eppy Liz now. _**NO! YOU MUST CALL ME LIZBETH BECAUSE I HAVE DIFFERENT STANDARDS FOR YOU THAN MY READERS!)** _and Mina xx_


	5. Chapter 5

**Methinks I owe you an update! So, Epilogue of sorts...**

****Marius Pontmercy died on the 19th May 1834. No one saw it coming, they were happy, content, no one would have thought... But this world is an unforgiving place, and when their carriage ran astray, their horses wild with fear from robbers and murderers, there was nothng anyone could do to stop them. Éponine watched from the shadows, a small smile sweeping across her face. She had come back for him, watched with a knowing stare as the inevitable took its toll.

Cosette let out a muffled cry as the carriage veered off course. Marius grasped her hand, telling her it would be fine. He glanced across from where he stood, and his gaze fell on Éponine. She was laughing. Head tipped back and her hair flying in the rain.  
"Good luck." she said, cocking her head in a mocking manner.  
"You- you left, I saw you!" Marius cried, "To be haunted once 'Ponine, is quite enough, but to come back when I am most vulnerable, when I am most afraid-"  
"You are going to die Marius Pontmercy." Éponine let out another shrill laugh, and Marius gripped onto Cosette harder.  
"Who are you?" he ventured, his eyes wide, fear iminent in them.  
"I am Éponine Thenardier, M'seiur. Pray, do you not remember me?" Éponine opened swung her legs out of the carriage and watched the view. The view! Thought Marius, how can she be so _calm_? But she was already gone. The carriage began to tip, Cosette's breathing becoming shallow and frequent. Éponine crossed her arms and placed one leg over the other.  
"Are you afraid M'seiur Marius?" she asked, her voice gentle for once, something of a mocking sympathy embedded in her tone. The carriage jerked and the horses let out a strangled scream. Cosette looked at Marius and Marius looked at Cosette. They were accepting it. The carriage took a sudden turn and Marius felt a sharp pain upon his side. He groped for Cosette's hand and gasped a little as the pain took a further stride into him. Éponine laughed again, and tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Well?" she asked, "Are you coming?" Marius watched Cosette's eyes close, and a small "No!" escaped from his mouth.  
"I'm waiting," continued Éponine, "or are you afraid? Poor M'seiur Marius! Afraid! Poor boy! But never mind, I can help you, I've cheered you up before - have I not? So, M'seiur Marius? Or are you afraid of leaving your beloved? She'll live, you know. She's weaker than you, but your previous trauma will take its toll. So?" Marius looked across at Cosette, her eyelashes flickering in her seemingly neverending sleep.  
"Will I see her again?" he whispered.  
"Oh, I expect not. Unless, of course, she remains faithful. She won't though, M'seiur, She's got her whole life to live, and why should she let you get in the way of it? True, perhaps she'll mourn, but you will fade into her memory M'seiur, and it won't be long before she forgets you altogether."  
"She won't! She'll never - "  
"Are you willing to risk it M'seiur?"  
"Yes. Always."

Tears glistened in Éponine's eyes once more. She had tried. She had tried so hard to reach for him, to take him, to save him. But he would never leave his... Cosette. Éponine reached for him once more and then... she was gone.

"I'll miss you Cosette," smiled Marius, closing his eyes.

He never opened them again.

**FINIS! Actually not sure if that's french. Think it might be Italian. I'll look it up. Farewell!**

**Eppy Liz xx**


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